So far, 2020 has been the year of pure adjustment. From the health scares, to the new/old environment. Via my previous posts, it’s not been an easy one. It’s been a long three months and a particularly hard long three months.
With that said, my productivity has been increasing. In the morning, after I’m done running my errands, I commit to yoga with my sister (sometimes just myself) and sometimes later on I go for a cardio workout. Only cardio so that I’m working on my breathing and really paying attention to my muscles and specifically, my ribcage. I have a bad rib on my left side, so I really have to be on the lookout when doing any kind of physical activity.
I’ve also been focusing on my art more and posting so that I have a consistent schedule with something I enjoy. Art has been such a big breather for me, but it also pushes me to be more creative and extend my skills more so than I have since I graduated college. Reading more has, as well, been on my agenda. Specifically my productivity books. This has also increased since my graduation. I don’t know, college just sucks out any fun that you had with your typical hobbies or breaks and though it took a good year, I’ve finally found a comfortable place in my life where I can get back to what I’m doing.
But, that’s about it. I wanted a really short post and I just wanted to remind myself that changing the way I work, the way I go about the day, and the way I think won’t and just doesn’t happen immediately. It’s a slow process.
I’m a big advocate finding the right mental health apps. On my phone, I even have a section labeled “health” that contains all my health apps including my Fitbit, Youper (what we’re talking about today, my food tracker, my Google Fit, etc. In our new generation, going to therapy is a big plus. Hindsight, I believe everyone needs it or at least needs to experience it, but therapy is also very expensive, which is where mental health apps like Youper come in.
Youper is a free app through and through. The sad part is, I’m really shocked, given the material provided to the audience. It has similar if not exact material compared to a lot of other mental health apps today that you must pay for, either immediately or within a certain time frame.
So, what is Youper?
Mentioned multiple times already in one paragraph alone, Youper is a free mental health app that provides its users with the tools to combat and analyze their mental health. As usual with these apps, the user can note down their emotional states and get into detail if they want, let it be letting off some steam or really digging into the core of the issue with Youper’s Ai. Speaking of the Ai, the app is constantly checking in on a daily and even follows up with any issues that you’ve had the previous day, but I’ll get more into this with the dissection of the sections.
How did I find it?
Like most people, a simple search on Google Play Store or the Apple App Store for mental health via the app section can easily point you in Youper’s direction. I found it in the midst of my ultimate mental health app hunt. As someone who cannot currently afford a long time therapist, I wanted something that would not only allow me to track my emotional and mental stability (something I can easily accomplish with a journal) but something that gave me feedback and assistance with developing a routine, developing my thoughts on whatever matter I’m talking about at that time, or even something that could really help me understand what I’m going through.
Let’s dig a little deeper
The app is divided into sections. When you register into Youper, you are initially prompted with a personality DNA quiz. Many are already familiar with this quiz, but if you don’t know, this quiz asks you a series of questions connected with your personality to come to the result of what your personality really is. When Youper gives you your result, it keeps it on your profile page only visible and accessible to you. The results not only show your personality DNA but as well goes into detail about what it means, where your emotions and thoughts tend to lean towards, and other important concepts about you as a person.
The Youper Intro
Now that you’re fully registered, whenever you log in you’ll be automatically introduced to the Youper ‘hello’ screen that asks you ‘how you doing today,’ ‘good morning,’ ‘good afternoon,’ and sometimes if you’ve already done an entry the day prior, it’ll ask if you’re feeling better. For example, there was a bad day that I had where my entry was super long because I had a lot to get off my chest. My emotion for that day was ‘depressed,’ because it was the only emotion that I believed accurately summed up how I was feeling. Since I put ‘depression’ as my emotion for that day and had a particularity long entry, the Youper ‘hello’ screen told me good morning and immediately after, asked me if I was doing better from yesterday.
And I’m especially happy about this concept because as someone who’s had this app for about a year now, this wasn’t a function that the earlier stages of Youper initially had. However, it was a function that I and many others gave feedback on that we wanted.
This Youper hello screen is also where the app will ask you where you want to get started, either dive straight into how you’re feeling or go straight to meditating.
Mind
Mind is where all your emotions and technically journal entries stack up. The area is organized by color and, of course, the most recent date first. So say if you haven’t made an entry in three days, your top entry when you go to the ‘Mind’ section would be that entry from three days ago. The emotions that you choose from often have their own colors, some more similar than others if the emotions are close in range.
This section also allows you to share with someone. I would only recommend doing this if you’re going to a doctor and they need mental and emotional data entries. Keeping track of your mental and emotional state is something a lot of doctors want their patients to do whether you’re going for a specific check-up or you actually are going to a therapist. You can easily send off these entries or keep them to show to your doctor.
Insights
This section is actually adhered to how much you do your entries. If you scroll through this area, you’ll most likely see a lot of grayed-out emotion cards. The ‘Insights” section gathers all the emotion data via your entries to combine them into what makes you ultimately ~insert emotion.~
You’ll see as an example, I’ve had a lot of depressed days and days where I’m just extremely tired either physically or mentally. Since I have so many ‘tired’ and ‘depressed’ log in days, the ‘Insights’ section was able to gather all the data for those two specific emotions about what makes me feel those things the most. When you click on the emotion, it will tell you things like life, social, family, etc. Whatever you filled out the most via that emotion.
Health
This is, in my opinion, one of the best sections. This section is where you’ll do your mental monitoring. The options for monitoring that they have available are:
Depression Monitoring
Anxiety Monitoring
Panic Monitoring
Post-Traumatic Stress Monitoring
Borderline Personality Disorder Monitoring
You aren’t required to fill out all these screenings. Instead, you can filter out which ones you know you’re going to use and which ones you aren’t. You’re also not required to constantly have to check-in if you don’t want to, but they are for your benefit. You can share the results with your doctor which I highly recommend if you know that these will assist the doctor with screening your health or of course, if you are going to a therapist. I personally believe this info would be extremely useful or at least insightful to your doctor.
Every time you finish a monitoring, Youper reminds you that what you’re receiving isn’t a professional doctor’s final result but rather something that can help you identify the source of your problems or at least elaborate on them. The end of each monitoring also provides videos that you can click on to gain further detail about the condition.
Monitoring your feelings and emotions
Let’s swivel back to the Youper ‘hello’ screen for a bit. Remember when I talked about the options it directs you towards; digging into your feelings or going straight to meditation. When you decide to take note of your feelings aka an entry, you’re directed to an emotion/feeling screen where you’ll choose how you’re feeling. Once clicked, you’re taken to another screen that gives you a percentage bar via how much of that emotion you’re feeling. And after that, you can choose the elements that are making that emotion come into fruition or effecting you to feel this way. When all that clicking and choosing is over you can write out your entire entry.
It’s these choices and entries that affect your entire experience on the app as a whole, gathering your data to understand what emotions you typically feel the most and how your mind is being effected.
Sometimes, if you write an entry or enter an emotion that the app knows it has a meditation session that can benefit you, it will prompt you towards that session. However, it will also let you know that you don’t have to choose the session it’s pointing towards but rather pick your own. The meditation sessions are rather simple but enjoyable. It’s probably one of the weakest of the app but not weak to the point where I wouldn’t use it. I still use it either when prompted or when feeling particularly meditative. It’s also free.
Is it worth it?
And it’s probably a little ballsy to do an entire section about why my conclusion to this app experience is a high recommendation because who knows what the outcome can lead to in the future, but this is that section. They may add pay exclusivity to the app or certain promos. At least for the time being, as a free mental health app, I think Youper beats the marathon. Yeah, you do get great offers with ones that you pay for but a lot of them have mostly lure promo pieces that you don’t entirely need. Youper, on the other hand, is simple, easy to use, while at the same time being detailed in the right places that you need the most.
I love the concept that you can share pieces of this info with your doctor and that you aren’t prompted to always have to check-in. If it’s been a while Youper will take note of that and bring it up when it does its daily notifications for your check-ins. Speaking of which, via the ‘Settings’ options you can turn off daily notifications if you want. I keep them on because I definitely need the reminder even if I don’t do it every day, otherwise, it’ll just be sitting on my phone. Other options that are helpful are the dark mode, pin setting, being apart of the human mind research, you can connect your Google Fit if you want, the auto-sync cloud backup and you can easily request your data.
So, as you see, there’s a lot that can be accomplished with Youper and as I said previously, I’ve been using this app for an entire year now and I can’t say that I see myself uninstalling it because it’s so useful for me. Again, as someone who cannot currently afford a long time therapist, this app brings a great deal of relief for me when I’m having spiraling days, down days, or even great days. That’s something to always take note of as well. When you’re just feeling refreshed.
If you really want to compare it to a mental health app that costs, there’s a review of one on my blog where ‘I Tried The Calm App for 7 Days,’ giving you all the details you need and digging into the best parts and the not-so-great parts.
Other than that, here’s an end with the quote for myself, something else you can do on the app. Give yourself a positive motivation quote that sticks on your profile to keep you inspired.
Ah, Imposter Syndrome, my shadow that lingers behind me on sunny days.
Sometimes I wish I was perfect. If you’re not the most perfect person in the world (aka none of us), then you’ve probably had this feeling of belittling how good you are at something. Unfortunately, there are some of us out there, like myself, who continuously suffer from it. ImposterSyndrome is best defined as a psychological term referring to a pattern of behavior where people doubt their accomplishments. Simply put, it’s the feeling of being fraudulent, undermining your own experience and devaluing your worth. This internalized fear keeps many of us from seeing ourselves in the fullest capacity of our self worth because deep down, there’s this consistent voice telling us that we’re not as good at what we do as others are perceiving us to be. And while this piece of information may hold a generalized similarity, there are actually five different types of Imposter Syndrome that I’ve discovered while researching:
click gif to be redirected to more information about each type
When I was younger during my grade school, middle school, and high school days, my Imposter Syndrome stemmed more closely towards the Natural Genius type. I was used to getting straight A’s and great grades. My GPA was always high, there wasn’t a subject I was terrible at. But the experience didn’t come without its consequences. I always felt like none of that was me, that everyone I knew was seeing me in the wrong light, that eventually, they were going to see that I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was.
And as I got older, entered college and finally graduated, instead of going away, it only changed, transformed into something new. The Natural Genius Imposter Syndrome that I’d harbored most of my life simply changed into The Expert – the me, now.
And now, there’s this need to be more than what I am, harbor more skills just to impress instead of solely for my own good. And when people really do refer to me as an expert, which happened last year actually, I shuddered a bit at the word because I didn’t deem myself to be even though I was working hard and accomplished a lot.
It’s very hard to understand and explain the, I suppose you can say, relief, that I had when I discovered there was something that could actually describe all these difficult feelings. When I would explain to others how I felt, they would say, “you’re just being hard on yourself, don’t be,” but it was never that simple.
When you have Imposter Syndrome, there’s this need to keep going and push yourself so that you can almost prove yourself wrong or worse yet, find something else about what you do, who you are, or how you do it that’s wrong. You think in the negative zones and those zones grow larger by the day with each compliment or even a reprimand, it doesn’t matter. Every comment that leaves someone’s mouth makes you go, “well I can do better than that.” And that thought process isn’t something that I’m saying is inheritedly terrible to its core, but it becomes toxic when manifesting itself the way it does with Imposter Syndrome.
For example, an agent that I’m under told me about this really interesting and cool job position, then she sent me the experience and knowledge they were looking for. With the type of Imposter Syndrome that I have, I was looking at all that experience that was needed and consciously checking off boxes that apply to something I can do, but as soon as I discovered one thing on the list that I know I had absolutely zero experience in, I told her that I didn’t think I’d fit the position.
While I did end up applying for this position, this is just one of many instances in a small version of Imposter Syndrome that subtly shows the trail of negative patterns one puts on themselves.
Writing a list of my imposter triggers
Asking others (my peers) if they’ve experienced the same thing
Continuing the conversation (starting with this blog)
Separating feelings from fact: instead of talking to myself about what I feel I can do, talk about what I know I can do and what I’ve gotten better at. I may not fully know how to do what they’re asking but it’s something I can learn.
And that isn’t really what this blog post is about. I know that it’s going to take baby steps for me and it’s a tough process, especially when it’s an action you’ve been doing since you were a kid and no one corrected you or confided in you about it. I’ve never had a learning experience for this type of issue that I’m dealing with, so I have to take it slow. If you’re reading this and Imposter Syndrome is something you as well suffer from, I hope you can find some solace from the fact that you’re not the only one and while it will get better, it will take some time.
It’s just important to stay aware and understand or come to understand when you’re starting to trigger your Imposter Syndrome or when it’s coming into fruition. It’s dangerous to suppress how you feel because those emotions and thoughts can slowly build up and become overwhelming. So, I’m not telling you to stop yourself, just monitor, check-in every once in a while and think positively.
You’ve probably seen the word “productivity” passed around a lot in the past year or so. It’s definitely become a trend that’s been sweeping the thumbnails of YouTube. And, though I’m not typically a person of trends, I see the proactive lure of this one. That, and my driving need for consistency.
Consistency is something I heavily thrive on, so when I don’t have it, I lose my drive to do anything. It cuts down my proactive-ness and leaves me unproductive. Que the trend of 2019 that has lead in 2020.
But, before I get into talking how my 2020 has been going so far and my plans (and yes I know it’s February, I’m coming at this subject pretty late), I do want to share this great YouTuber I’ve been following for the past year or so. Her name is Rowena Tsai, and she recently came out with a video titled “Set Systems Not Goals” that explains the concept of systems and how you as an individual can thrive from it. This concept derives from James Clear’s take on systems and goals which talks about why you should focus on setting a system for yourself instead of taking the approach of goal setting. You can read more about this in his book, Atomic Habits, or you can go to his website.
My reason, of course, for bringing this up is to touch on my subtitle, “what are my systems” – a question that I’ve been asking myself since January came and went, and a question I find myself still asking as February’s rolled in and 2020 rolls on.
Since the need to focus on my mental health, both mental and physical, and a lot of recent events, my personal life has taken a bit of a downfall. And with the decline of my personal life, so went my motivation and then went being proactive. I’ve been specifically staying away from my Instagram “DrinkLessCoffe” connected to this blog (which isn’t wholeheartedly bad considering that taking a break from any form of social media can help with your mentality), but I was purely trying to stay away from what I deemed was the problem when the real problem was my motivation in general.
My blog is apart of that. I’ve stayed away from it and even kept to myself the content that I wanted to talk about because I just didn’t have that drive with everything that was and still has been happening around me, to go and type a blog post about ways to get out of the current state I was in, or health, etc. It didn’t seem worth it. But I thought I could fix this if I started watching productivity videos from my favorite Youtubers. Unfortunately, the only light of outcome I created for myself was a wish or some sort of image of what I could be doing without actually doing anything at all.
If that makes any sense.
The worst part about all this, I actively knew something was wrong with me and what was wrong with me, but knowing didn’t really help with solving. So, how did I come to finally write a blog post after so long, you may or may not be wondering.(make a gif)
One day, I thought to myself while curling up in my bed, there’s something missing, something that I fell in love with as a child and haven’t really given attention to because my mind loves to stay preoccupied. And that love was my art. I had Instagram, Facebook, and work, but I hadn’t touched it. Frankly, there’s no reason. I just…health, work, slumps. All of that made me constantly say to myself “well, I don’t have time for it.”
The problem is, I fell in love with art as a child, continued it throughout grade school, high school and even college, but when I was met with the real world, that sketchbook got put away in my vault aka, my bookshelf.
It was and still is the source of my creative spark along with writing, and I was writing but not painting or sketching or drawing. But the most important part about all of this, I was suffering from
Everything I tried to do, no matter how much my peers and my family told me was amazing, I thought I just wasn’t as good as they were seeing. Sometimes I made the excuse that they were seeing it wrong or this help I was giving people was just a fluke. When I finally started venturing more into my art, I got clients, I got compliments, I got a bit of traction but I just couldn’t believe. Not like, I couldn’t believe my wonderful eyes of these amazing opportunities. Like, I just couldn’t believe it. Something had to be wrong.
I needed to find a way out of this, which as you may guess, is a lot harder than it seems. That’s why, even though I was working on my art, getting myself more productive a bit at a time, I still seemed inactive in January. I did a lot of things behind the scenes in hopes that if I did, I wouldn’t have to confront the Imposter Syndrome itself. Though I may be wording this as if I’ve gotten over it and moved passed it, I haven’t. It’s an issue I’ve struggled with for years, there just wasn’t a term or explanation out there for what it was.
It’s been extremely difficult, but it’s been productive (or somewhat, not to downplay the work I’ve been giving myself). And now that I have the ball rolling, I’m getting more active, my sister has joined me in creating productive schedules and plans or rather systems so that we grow. There are a few things that I’ve come to figure out. Like, for instance, my blogs are going to keep being posted every Friday for some consistency and the subject of each will surround the usual, I’m searching for healthy meal plans with low money via YouTube and research that I may also share, and with each art piece I’ll still be scribbling down random ideas.
It’s pretty bland but something I want those reading to take from this is: get into those productive YouTube videos. They can help you get motivated and inspired. And even if it’s not YouTube, seeing other people overcome a problem they’re having or getting out of a slump really pushes you to try the same. At least it does for me.
Let’s talk about something so simple yet often overlooked because December is filled with holiday ideas, shopping, and a lot of busy business.
Self-Care in the winter.
Of course, this idea moves from December into the other winter months: January and February. Either way, I thought these were good things to keep in mind, because we get to crazy and busy with the holidays that we often forget to take care of ourselves.
Winter is the time of snow but also the time of dryness. Our skin gets cracked and the layers dry out. Now yes, it is important for you to simple keep your skin moisturized but the reason i point out these three are because they’re key parts that we find ourselves forgetting about. How many times have you told yourself to put some lotion on your hands but you end up doing other things? Or stepping out the shower and forgetting to put lotion on your feet after getting everything else situated. Even for those of us who are very attentive to our lips, the simplest of things can catch out attention and make us forget.
As the cold rolls end, stock up on hot liquids. Soups are always my go-to, Tomato being my favorite. Water is always the key to hydration but if you want to explore a little more, look into different teas and, of course, hot chocolate. Just two days ago I made myself some. homemade hot chocolate and it surprisingly turned out perfect.
Now, I want to reach a very serious subject. Winter depression. Lots of individuals out there in the world have it. It’s cold, the sky is darker than usual and the memories of what’s been lost or what we feel is missing, plagues us during winter depression. It’s important during this season to reach out to those of us in our lives that we know can comfort us during this tough time, or reach out to those that we know have winter depression.
My main purpose for this post is to remind you to find ways to stay motivated. For me, this means creating sticky notes, designs, drawing, decorating the house for winter time to keep my spirits up, or simply listening to music. As the weather gets colder and the holidays move on, I want to encourage you to keep this practice up, discover new things about yourself that you didn’t know, explore the environment around you even on chilly days. Don’t let the winter conquer your mood and your space.
The final holidays are coming upon us and with it, the end of another year.
Happy December everyone. As I keep as smile on my face now that the last month is here, it’s never too late or too soon to remember to take care of yourself as best as you can. And, if there is someone that you know that is struggling, trying to help them out or just sit down to talk with them are also great ways to end the year. And remember that, no matter how the year has been for you, self-care should always be on your health list.
Speaking of which.
Sometimes, while I’m sitting down and I have nothing much to think about, it helps to at least put something calming and inspiring in front of me. What’s better than nature. I found this nice little video (nothing much as you can tell) but it was so peaceful that, at least for me, it’s worth staring at.
Here’s what I like to do: sometimes, while sitting down most likely enjoying a bit of coffee or a cup of blueberry tea with honey, and I don’t have much to really think about, it helps to at least give myself something calming to target. I find that it keeps my inspiration juices flowing. A good example is the simple, quite simple, video that I provided below this. What’s better than a piece of nature? I found this nice video (nothing much as again, you can tell) but it was so peaceful that, at least for me, it’s worth staring at.
Videos or pictures like this are always that burst that I need to help me think of creative scenes, titles, or quotes. And no, it doesn’t have to be for any particular reason. I just like doing it. So I do.
And simple staring is just another phrase for the pure definition of my mind wandering around when I have time. I encourage people to try this, only, don’t let the target be a person. That’s just creepy 😂
Another great way to let the time pass by
is getting together mood boards or little color themes (because anything organized really brightens my mood). As you’ll see with this post, it’s quite color coordinated.
Anywho, that’s it for now. I hope anyone reading this has a great December.
Next Friday, I’ll be posting some self-care winter tips but for now, I created a simple video for a simple calendar as we venture into the last month.
I always love the thought of diving into some self-care and I always find myself binge-watching Youtube videos that touch on different ways to accomplish that. However, with the recent direction of my thinking, I also realize that I’m constantly trying to make sure I’m doing something so that there’s some sort of validation in my mind that I was productive.
If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll probably also realize that I make sure I post at least sometime during the week. That also correlates to me thinking that I’ve accomplished at least something for proof to myself that I wasn’t doing anything.
And I know that eventually, I want to be an extremely helpful voice to others about different ways to self-care, healthy thoughts, etc., but I see me pulling myself different directions because of recent stressful living situations and just heavily thinking on my future career.
Recently,
(as in three days ago) I was detangling my hair and from the back, there was a section that was nothing but pure white. Not gray, not red (a transitioning color I get when a hair of mine is about to turn gray), but pure white. I showed my family and of course, they told me the same obvious thing – the amount of stress I’ve been through in this entire year has taken its toll. First I was sick and now my hair is turning pure white, and as much I don’t want to be that person anymore, I have to learn to admit that that person is a part of me. Doesn’t mean I need to submit to that person, but recognizing and realizing that yes I will grow but that person has never not been a part of me, will help me continue on.
I’ve been even using the need to work on my book as a means of being productive and while I love working on my novel, I can’t lie to myself and say that it hasn’t been a headache because I constantly have to think about plot, characters, solutions, conflicts. It’s a lot when your brain doesn’t turn off.
Sorry for my rambling.
So, what do I mean by the title?
I feel like the title is pretty apparent and doesn’t need some in-depth answer, but as per my previous comments, I stress too much, I want to be doing something so much, and as great as it is that people tell me to take a break, it’s definitely not helpful. My idea of ‘taking a break’ doesn’t completely exist because there’s almost this underlining obsession in my brain that doesn’t understand that phrase. My thoughts and the need to move are continuous cycles and the moment I take a second to think about that phrase ‘taking a break,’ there’s this automatic feeling of guilt. It’s a piece of myself that I need to work on. Even as I list these next couple of ideas and things that I did to give myself a break, today as I post this blog post, I realized that I confessed to my sister that I have indeed not been doing anything really for the past week or two. I’ll get to that later.
What does wasting time mean?
I know the wording might leave a little to be desired but it’s not as irrelevant or useless as you may think. Clearing our minds is important. Like I previously mentioned, mine is constantly working overtime. Even if you don’t have a brain that overworks itself, our brains are always active in some sense. Especially in this day-and-age where working is more valued than sleeping or taking a break. Some of us (myself included) were born into this world where working constantly just makes perfect sense. So, when I say waste time, I mean don’t fall into the productivity trap. Don’t validate needing a break or why you’re taking one. It’s quite simple to ambush ourselves.
Mental health is the core value of our being.
And there is so much to actually value when you just do nothing at all. Some of your nothing at alls can be:
The reason meditating, exercising, or anything else that causes a lot of moving or thinking isn’t on that list is because you are trying to get your mind to relax. Even meditating requires some mental workout (while this is a great version of self-care, not all meditation is the ’empty your mind’ kind and it is a brain exercise). But, this is all about you. Do something that makes you happy but doesn’t require you thinking or doing a little too much.
I used to put meditation as apart of my ‘doing nothing’ routine but I wasn’t being honest with myself. Meditation, at least for me, was a form of me doing something since I still need a lot of practice in it so it is often a good brain exercise. So, while I kept it in my self-care and healthcare routine, I just took it out of my ‘doing nothing’ list.
For the past two weeks or so, I’ve been doing the following. I would’t recommend doing this heavily but it’s something my body and brain desperately needed given my situation, and I don’t regret it. However, I did try to make excuses for myself and, like I said I would bring up, I did end up confessing to my sister today that I’ve been “wasting my time” for the past two weeks. And you know how she responded? She smiled and laughed, saying, “you just had to get that off your chest, didn’t you?”
I did.
Unfortunately, the feeling of giving myself a break was guilt to me and it felt wrong that my sister didn’t know that I was “doing nothing.” After she was done laughing, she shrugged her shoulders and told me, “I can see why you took a break. You need it.”
As I’ve said many times in this medium-sized post, I’m constantly working on myself and trying to grow and these are the areas that need some heavy DIY. My point to this post wasn’t only to give some piece of advice or just maybe just a look into an overthinker’s life, but to vent a little about a problem I (and many people today) have when it comes to giving ourselves a break. While I cannot change the negative outlook that comes along with the words “wasting time,” I hope that eventually, we can learn just how much we deserve our breaks and not feel this twinge of guilt or pity for ourselves.
It’s a question I’ve been asking myself for a couple of months now. If you take a look at my ‘About,’ what inspired me to start up this blog in the first place, was the health trip I wanted to start pursuing. I’ve been technically sick since May when I had to go to the hospital. However, things didn’t get bad, bad until around June when I had to start packing and moving. Since then, there’s been more downs than ups. The ups, I can barely count on my fingers.
Processed with VSCO with m5 preset
While I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty of my entire 2019 because a lot of it is personal, let’s just say it’s been one bad thing after another. I thought if I started thinking positively and focus fully on my health, that my problems would just woosh away like a magic spell, but of course, they didn’t. Problems don’t work like that.
And I’ve been trying all these different things, wanting to really work hard on this blog but been in a mind bind because of my sickness combined with the fact that I haven’t had the will to actually write anything to be honest. It’s not because I don’t have any ideas, actually I have plenty, but I haven’t found that ‘umpfh,’ ya know.
So now, here I am, writing and finally wanting to get everything back in order. Glad that 2019 is wrapping up in one more month (the month after is my birthday – January), doing my best to keep a positive attitude. Shitty years happen and we can’t let that drag us down, no matter how negative it is. I had to teach myself in these last couple of months that yeah, things have been going quite terribly (not going to sugar coat), but you never know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. Just taking my day to day and breathing it in. I don’t have to be positive every single day just to feel like I’ve gotten some sort of accomplishment, but if I pull myself down with this year, how am I doing myself a service?
So, while I am looking forward to 2020, I’m sure 2019 was a big lesson learned or the universe was just getting me ready for whatever there is to come in the next year. I’m done babbling for now.
As I practice for a healthier life and have this new medicine that I need to take, being cautious about what I drink is seriously important. I don’t drink soda or really juice. If I’m drinking juice, it’s because I have to take medicine and I’m still a child at heart. Sometimes, though, I want to try different healthy drinks just to have something new, ya know.
Anyway…. about two months back, I wanted to experiment a little bit especially since I bought these mason jars for my sister and I. Also, I like to indulge in spicy foods so, I wanted something that would help in settling my stomach a little more or digesting the food faster. Something, I can wake up in the morning to make or have as an afternoon drink. A big part of that was having the ingredient as well, be turmeric.
And I found a drink.
I believe this one is under the category of a detox drink because of it’s ingredients, and I’ve tried detox drinks many times before in the past, but it doesn’t mean I love or even like them. In fact, it takes a lot to force myself to even try them. So, when searching for this turmeric-based drink, it needed to be something sweet. I’m also not a fan of sweet stuff but I hate bitter drinks more so….yeah.
Adding on, I heard of all these great health benefits of turmeric.
So, like many of you, I Googled until I couldn’t Google anymore. And here’s what I found specifically from the website Healthline:
If you’re not familiar with turmeric; it is a very very bitter spice and while I want to cleanse my body, knowing how bitter turmeric and detox drinks are, I was nowhere near excited. So, I hunted for a drink that fancies my sweet tooth (not too much though) but still provided me with that health factor I really needed.
I found this great recipe (but of course I altered the amount according to how much of the drink I wanted to make). To clarify, this is nothing I came up with myself but I have become semi-obsessed with it. It’s from the blog trialandeater.com
The blog post is very short, the ingredients are super simple and it only takes about five minutes to put it all together. The author titled it ‘Morning Turmeric Detox Drink’ and talks about the benefits, what they know and also offers some other links about turmeric in their paragraphs. So here are the ingredients that I, of course, altered a bit.
I still kept the same measurement of turmeric and cayenne pepper but I added a little more apple cider vinegar (funny story, I actually hate the taste of this but together in this drink I’ve slowly come to love it). You don’t want your drink to be too sour so I kept the same amount of lemon. As for the choice between honey and maple syrup, if I didn’t have honey, I increased the amount of maple syrup, real maple syrup (the ones that come in the fancy bottle).
I still drink this months later!
Even if I don’t want a detox drink, I always find myself coming back to it. It’s a great morning booster as the author noted, but it also makes a great lunch drink if I’m not in the mood for something to eat or maybe just a small snack. I do highly recommended it and actually making and drinking it in the morning. It makes you start your day somewhat actively (since you have to get up and make it) and when I drink this in the morning, it actually gives me great energy. Now, I don’t know if that’s what’s going to happen to you as well, but it has energized me quite a lot. Being anemic, you get tired more so than healthier people, even when you’re taking the right medication and this has been a great go to.
I started this drink I think around early September.
As for the sweetness of the drink, the real maple syrup makes a great better ingredient than the honey for me, which is why it’s probably the main ingredient and honey is the second option. I just found when I used honey that I had to use a lot to get rid of that bitter taste, but with the real maple syrup it was barely that much of an effort.
Now, you’re probably wondering why I didn’t mention the health benefits of the next big ingredient in this drink ‘Apple Cider Vinegar.’ Well, I feel like the Apple Cider Vinegar drink is one everyone knows and is the first thing people see when you say detox drink and my main focus for this drink was that it had turmeric but taste good so, I wanted to focus on that more.
Now, I don’t know if this helps with weight loss, I heard it does but that wasn’t really my goal. As I venture into self-healing and self-care, I want to make sure I’m drinking other healthy alternatives as well because as you know, no matter how many meditations or runs of exercise you go through, it doesn’t help if you aren’t also consuming healthy foods and drinks within your body.
I really do love this drink and would suggest you all giving it a try.
I figured out long ago that finding your true self, who you’re comfortable to be was never supposed to be an easy feat. And, while you will hear this line a thousand times from multiple sources, it never truly sticks until you’re willing to finally go at it for real.
I know if I told myself those two sentences three years ago, it would mean nothing.
Something to understand about me: I am a Buddhist Practitioner. Meaning, I don’t devote it into a religion or go into the in-depth aspects of becoming a full-on Buddhist. Rather, I practice the teachings that they give and take my time to learn and understand my life through their advice and discoveries. This isn’t something that started recently. I’ve been practicing and learning about Buddhism and meditation since beginning highschool, so about back in 2008. I’ve always had a knack for learning about cultures and different religions, spiritual practices, and just plain practices. But, I will save this for another post.
The reason I bring this up is because the me three years ago who went in and out the practice (because college was whooping my ass during that time), wouldn’t have listened to those first two intro sentences. Even though I had brought this narrative to discover who I really am, what I want to do, who I want to be or how I want to exist in the present into focus for myself, it wasn’t something that I was willing to take time in or practice. Basically, it was a nice thought that kept resurfacing.
I was and still am constantly plagued with the thought of failure, of financial struggle, of my best not being the best, etc. This most likely goes for a lot of people. It took me until now to understand that these aren’t thoughts that will disappear, no matter how many meditation or inspirational videos I watch on Youtube or read in a book.
There will be stress in the journey no matter what. Even when when you come to accept this, that doesn’t mean that stress disappears. It’s a tough path and I don’t believe it was ever meant to be easy. As I’ve said in a post before:
And I solely believe this. We get caught in this cycle of trying to prove to ourselves that we’re better than we show or better than we believe. While those are great thoughts for self-confidence, that constant extra reach is ultimately what strains our muscles and makes us tired of going through our journey of discovering instead of just cruising and enjoying it.
If we stopped trying to grasp them, we’d stop feeling the discontent and strain that comes with grasping.
A Monk’s Guide to Happiness
Stress will always be a present factor in our lives, whether it be good or bad. The key is to finding balance and the only way to find balance is to be fully committed in giving yourself the care and attention you need. This was by no means a how-to blog post as you can see. Just something quick and simple, something we often overlook because we’re human. ❤
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